Determined Again

Happiest race: Susan Komen 5-K Race for the Cure, spring, 2005. Tears at the finish after a sprint for ~27:00. Couldn't believe I ran that far.

Saddest race: 2010 N. Orleans 70.3, the Sunday before last. Sprinted at the finish (just so that my run time would be faster than my bike time). Might have cried, but I was probably too dehydrated for tears.

The N. Orleans 70.3 was the weekend before last. My folks and sister made the trip to cheer. My best friends, George and Stephanie, were there to race. And 40+ other Mississippi Heat tri club members were there competing as well. I had a terrific weekend with friends and family. But the race was a bit of a trainwreck, I'm afraid.

It was a windy, warm, and very humid day. I was reminded, more than once, that I should be thankful it wasn't as warm as the 2009 edition. Nonetheless.... The race started off with a swim in Lake Pontchartrain, with transition adjacent to the Univ. of N. Orleans campus. The water conditions were pretty choppy....more like the Gulf at IM Florida than a typical lake swim. I had a good swim, out of the water in 30:15 and across the timing mat at 30:58. I even had a better than usual T1 time as I got headed out onto the bike. The bike was an out-and-back, with a couple hairpin loops to add length, along the southern edge of the Lake. It was pretty windy for the outbound and there was a moderate tailwind on the return. I had hoped to manage a steady 190-210W for the ride, but fell a little short. I eased up a bit in the 3rd hour, but with the help of the tailwind finished up in 2:56. I felt good in T2, but it didn't take long before the hot weather got the best of me. The temps were only in the 70's, but the N. Orleans humidity and bright sunshine were rough. By mile 2 of the run I didn't feel well and by miles 4-5 I was having leg cramps that made it hard to walk, yet alone run. It would be a long 2:54 "run" to the finish line. And once again I was left wondering if I wouldn't have done better if it had been a 1.2 mile run and 13.1 mile swim!

It wasn't a pretty sight at the finish line. It was all I could do to make the few steps and sit down on a box of Gatorade at the side of the finishing chute. And I sat there for probably 15-20 minutes just collecting myself. Somebody leaned over the fence (?my sister) and asked if I needed the medical tent, but I deferred. At that moment I probably would have needed to be carried there. This is as close to a "real" medical problem as I'd like to get at a race.

I enjoyed dinner that evening with the family, George and Stephanie, and George's friends, Paula and Paul. Paul, as it turns out, is an orthopedic surgeon at Tulane. And, as luck would have it, he would turn out to be the surgeon for Robin (another Mississippi Heat member), who had a bike crash and broke his hip. So, just when you think you had a bad day....

But it was a bad day at the race. I had high expectations. I thought I was never more ready for a triathlon and that prospects were good for PR's at each leg of the race. I had told Coach Justin that I expected to finish in 5:50 (0:30, 2:50, 2:20, plus some transition time). And there was virtually no doubt in my mind that I would make that happen on race day. But that's why they have the race, isn't it?

The aftermath of a bad race is never good. And this time it was awful. I think that in the 10 days after the race, I experienced every emotion possible. I questioned everything: my motivation, my ability, my nutrition, my training, my mindset, my outfit. Just everything. I was disappointed, discouraged, upset, frustrated, aggravated. And so on.

There were some lighter moments, though. I shared with Coach Justin some of the funny comments from folks about my race. Always good to have friends.

From folks who don't really know me very well:

Comment: How did you swim so fast? Did you skip 1 of the buoys?

Me: Hmmm....What do you say? Right arm, left arm, repeat.....

Comment: Did you train for this race?

Me: Hmmm....I seem to recall some training.

Comment: Did you consider stopping after the bike?

Me: Hmmm....It was billed as a triathlon. Should've had the candy bar in T2!

From the few folks who know me well enough to know about my training, etc.:

Comment: What did Justin say? What did Gordo say?

Me: Justin said that if I ran, it would speed things up considerably.

I think that's the funniest thing I've heard since the race. And it's SO TRUE. Next time....

Comment: When I saw your bike time, I was sure you had a flat.

Me: Actually, this was finally a race WITHOUT a flat.

Comment: When we saw you at the finish, we thought you'd need the medical tent.

Me: Perhaps I did. Instead I sat down on the box of Gatorade at the finish....and couldn't move for 20 minutes. Interestingly, nobody (including you!) offered assistance to the medical tent. The finish line workers didn't seem to notice me on the Gatorade.

Justin told me, "well at least you didn't get 'good race.' That's the worst!" So I've got that going for me!

And then there was some constructive thinking about what went wrong. In the end, I think there was dehydration and possibly some electrolyte problems that we will work out before the next race. I can already see, from measuring sweat loss during this past week's workouts, that I probably underestimated the fluid requirements for race day in N. Orleans. I appreciate the helpful suggestions from some of my colleages here at work, from Dr. Bob at Endurance Corner, and also my own doctor. We'll work that out and be better prepared for the next race. The hot weather's not going away.

But in the midst of thinking about the positive steps we could take for the next race was a whole lot of anguish about preparation and execution of this race. In trying to put together a good day at the races, I likened myself to Charlie Brown trying to kick the football....or Linus waiting each year in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin to come. I'm promising myself that I'll never get this worked up about a race result again. Ever. Coach Justin got the brunt of my rantings about self-doubt. He deserves a medal for listening and my thanks for not firing me.

Some things worth remembering.... Justin has had some thoughtful advice on previous occasions. Even with a bad race, we've built up some fitness that we can carry forward. Can't take that away. That should be comforting. And he's told me before that there are always bad races to go with the good ones....and sometimes more bad ones than good ones. Even for the best athletes. So I've got some company. And that's always comforting. And this time he reminded me of one of the observations by Coach Bobby McGee....that 90% of the time athletes underperform, 9% of the time they perform as they should, and just 1% of the time do they overperform. There's company there, too. We'll work toward getting out of the first group at the next race!

And one more thing worth remembering.... Coach Gordo reminded me that it's important to remember the "why" of racing....what got you out there to do the race or be involved in triathlon in the first place. For me, that motivation was better health and the fellowship with the other athletes. And I'm certain I've got those things going for me....even on a bad race day.

I have a couple photos to share. My last blog post was about the Endurance Corner Tucson training camp. I had a busy week at work leading up to that trip and my Thursday of that week included a heart transplant in a 72 year old man with a failing heart. I ran into him and his wife at the hospital earlier this week and they wanted to share this photo with me.....the photo that they call "the tin man and the thin man" about a month after his transplant.

Helps keep things in perspective.

And one last photo to share. I was at one of our teaching conferences yesterday and one of the residents included a slide that I liked:

It's taken 11 days now to get over the bad race. But at the next race, Memphis in May on 5/23, it's "DO!" Can't wait.